Porn Reading Hippies
by Moiya Hatake
Summary: Oneshot - "You’ve turned my students into porn reading hippies Ji-ji!” Pre-Gaiden comedy in which Rin, Obito and Kakashi finally find the one thing that brings them together as friends. But will they remember? Minato/Jiraiya/Kakashi/Rin/Obito. Humor.


**Author's Notes:** Set before Gaiden. Written for the YonKaka Community on LiveJournal. Plot Bunny that wouldnt leave me alone and inspired by Jay/Jiraiya, a character from Frackin-Sweet's story The Only Cure For Gravity, A Naruto AU listed on the YonKaka community. Im not into severe AU's but this one is AWESOME! A must read. Anywho...on to the story!

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**Porn Reading Hippies**

"So this is Jiraiya-sama's house?" Rin stood in the center of the small living space and stared around a the decor, "It's not what I expected."

Kakashi glanced at the large bookshelf eyeing the brightly colored books on the top shelf, "What did you expect? Shuriken printed wallpaper?"

Rin sat on the couch and ran her hand over the fabric frowning, "No. With his reputation I guess I was expecting naked women or something."

Obito, unsurprisingly, was in the kitchen peering into the refrigerator, "Or breast shaped pillows." the Uchiha frowned and shut the door, eyes already scanning the rest of the small room for anything snack like.

"Obito!" Rin squawked.

Kakashi pulled a chair over and proceeded to climb up, arm stretched out to snag one of the interesting little books.

"Aha! Found it." Minato's muffled voice came from the back room just before he reappeared holding a wooden box.

He was surprised to find all three of his students right where he'd left them. Standing in the center of the room waiting patiently.

"What did you do?" he frowned glancing around the room suspiciously before ushering them through the door.

"I've got some things to do but I didn't want you three to waste an entire day lounging about waiting for me so there you go."

"Painting?" Kakashi glared at the paint brush he'd been given.

"It's meant to be fun and relaxing." Minato frowned, "Ill be in the next room so no funny business."

"I thought it was meant to be fun?" Kakashi quipped.

Rin giggled.

Obito rolled his eyes.

Minato simply glared and pointed at the easel behind the sarcastic chunin, "Just paint."

Within moments of the blonde leaving the room Rin set to work on her painting.

Obito pulled his pouch over and was sneaking something out of it every couple of minutes.

Kakashi cracked open the small orange book and began reading.

Minato glanced up at the clock then at the door.

It had been nearly half an hour since he'd left his students and so far he hadn't heard any bickering or complaining.

Although it was exactly what he was hoping for, it was almost too quiet he decided pushing away from the desk and walking over to the door. He relaxed instantly when he saw his three students at work, brushes dragging, tapping or swirling paint around on the thick paper.

But the moment he returned to his desk Kakashi cracked open the hidden book, Obito stuffed something into his mouth and Rin silently scolded both of them with her best glare.

Chucking paint lids at them was also helpful, "You two are suppose to be painting."

"Ill give you a brownie if you'll stop nagging us." Obito smirked.

Kakashi ignored them.

Rin's eyes widened slightly, "Where did you get brownies?"

"Do you want one or not?" Obito dangled the thick moist sweet in front of Rin's eyes then tossed it to her when she nodded happily.

Kakashi glared down at his lap when one landed against the book and slide down, leaving a brown smudge. He stared at the mark on the page obscuring the words then shrugged and licked it off.

Glancing over his shoulder, he watched a whole chocolate square being stuffed into the annoying Uchiha's wide mouth and heard Rin humming merrily over her own. Looking back down at the one between his legs he picked it up and sniffed it before taking a small bite.

A moment later Obito was blinking at a pale outstretched hand. Kakashi didn't ask, he simply waited for the Uchiha to give him another one.

Eventually they ran out of the thick chewy treats.

Rin picked up her brush to continue working on her painting, while Obito painted his foot and Kakashi went back to reading his stolen book.

The silence continued uninterrupted for several long minutes until Obito stopped painting his leg, Rin paused in the midst of her tree branch and they both stared disbelieving at Kakashi's back.

Waiting.

When nothing happened they decided they were hearing things and went back to their own distractions.

A few moments later they jerked their heads around intent on catching the silver haired chunin in the act this time.

Kakashi was shaking slightly and every now and then a squeak would escape his pursed lips.

"I knew it! You were giggling!" Obito started off too loud as usual but quickly lowered his voice when Rin started waving her arms at him to shut up.

Kakashi ignored them both and continued reading.

That is, until another burst of uncontrolled giggles erupted and he couldn't seem to make them stop.

He didn't know what was wrong, but he felt strangely relaxed and giddy.

Something niggled at the back of his mind telling him he probably should be concerned with this sudden change, but he quickly chased it away and turned the page.

Rin crawled, because standing seemed far too difficult a task at the moment, over next to Kakashi and peered around at his face, "Are you ok?"

Obito quickly joined her when more giggles escaped the normally stoic shinobi, "What are you doing baka? Your going to get us into trouble."

Rin blinked up at Obito who wasn't frowning or angry as she had expected him to be, but smiling stupidly and near laughing himself when he wrenched the book out of Kakashi's hands, "What are you reading anyway?"

For some reason the intrusion into his personal space and the theft of his book had the silver haired chunin smiling.

Instead of going after Obito he turned to Rin and painted a line right down her nose before rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling, "Give me back my book." he demanded half heartedly.

Obito turned the book around and stared at it from different angles, "Is that even possible?"

"Is what even possible?" Rin asked painting stripes in Kakashi's hair for no reason other than it looked pretty and he was letting her do it.

"This." Obito grinned shoving the book in front of Rin's face.

Her eyes became saucers and she nearly screamed before both her team mates covered her mouth and dragged her to floor, "Shhh." they hissed in her ears still trying not to laugh too loud themselves.

Rin took the book from her dark haired team mate and laid it out on the floor in front of them, all three laying on their stomachs, shoulder to shoulder as they eyed the two page illustration together.

After a moment Kakashi tilted his head and rotated the book.

In unison they broke out into riotous laughter.

"Minato."

"Hn?"

Minato looked up from his pile of books and scrolls, glaring at the door, slightly annoyed by the occasional noises he could hear coming from the next room and patiently waiting for an explanation from the white haired shinobi.

"How many times have I told you, if you want something of mine just ask."

"Excuse me?" he turned blue eyes on his mentor and blinked, very confused.

"You came to my place did you not?"

Minato leaned back in his chair, lacing his fingers across his chest, "I did."

"You took my brownies."

"Uh...no, I didn't. I took the box of painting supplies you loaned me."

He flicked his eyes to the door and silently cursed all the interruptions.

Jiraiya held up an empty plastic container and dumped crumbs over the blonde's research, "_And_ my special brownies."

"Hey!"

"You could have left me a couple. Or at least a note. But you took them all!"

"I haven't touched your special brownies since that party three years ago. You probably ate them and cant remember." Minato scowled picking up books and tipping them over the trash can next to his desk.

"Piss in a cup then."

"NO! You senile old perve! I told you I didn't eat them!"

"You're a lying little brat."

"If I had eaten them don't you think Id be a little _off_ right now? Hell, with what you put in those things I doubt Id be conscious."

Jiraiya seemed to think about this for a moment before sniffing, "Your probably right."

Minato eyed the door again and slammed his hand onto the desk, "What the hell are they doing in there?"

Pushing his chair back he marched over to the door and wrenched it open ready to put three chunins back in their proper place with chakra enhanced duck tape to keep them quiet, "Would you mind telling me what you find so fu-ny?"

The anger he'd felt moments ago faded into shocked concern and all he could manage to do was stare.

Jiraiya moved next to Minato and eyed the three paint covered pre-teens on the floor, lined up shoulder to shoulder and doing their absolute best not to laugh.

Both men looked down at the plastic container then at each other.

"Oh." Jiraiya blinked.

"No." Minato said disbelieving and turned back to his students, "Oh kami they did." he marched over and snagged the book off the floor nearly throwing it at Jiraiya when he realized what it was.

"I suspect they'll have questions about this when they recover. That is, if they remember anything." Jiraiya chuckled holding up the page the three grinning chunins had been examining.

"You better hope they don't." Minato glared then attempted to check Obito's pupils while the boy sucked his finger then stuck it into Kakashi's ear.

"Wet Willie Kashi-kun!"

Rin laughed so hard she turned nearly purple before finally sucking in a breath.

Minato hung his head.

_He_ didn't need them to pee in a cup to know they had in fact eaten Jiraiya's special brownies. It was written all over their red, twisted, giggling little faces.

But the strongest evidence was his all too serious, by the book, student Kakashi.

Not only was he not wearing his mask but he had colorful stripes decorating his spiky silver hair and he was smiling. Not a smirk or a grin, but a full on 'Im going to laugh until I pee myself' smile.

"Sensei."

Minato slapped Obito's hand away and leaned closer to Kakashi who was now laying on his back staring up at him with unfocused eyes.

"I love you." he grinned stupidly.

Minato slapped a hand to his face and counted to ten.

After a moment he peeled his hand away and stared down at Obito who was snoring, face down on the mat, one leg hiked up underneath him and drooling as if he'd been asleep for hours already.

Rin he discovered was mumbling incoherently with her arm draped over her eyes, very close to falling asleep herself.

And Kakashi...

"You didn't say it back." he was still gazing up at the blonde, eyes even more unfocused than before.His heavy lids threatened to close before he blinked them open again trying desperately to stay awake.

Minato blushed and ran a hand through the messy spikes that weren't glued together with dried paint, "I love you too Kashi-kun."

"See. This whole experience has brought you all together. Even dog boy there." Jiraiya smiled.

"Together? You've turned my students into porn reading hippies Ji-ji!"

"Erotic novel reading shinobi." Jiraiya corrected then disappeared before the kunai wielding blonde could attack him.

"Im going jutsu his peeping eyes closed for eternity." Minato growled dragging his three comatose students closer together and draping his coat over them.

He silently prayed they didn't remember anything about special brownies or strange sexual practices because he sure as hell wasn't going to tell them he decided trying to find the missing lids to the paint cans.


End file.
